


- but it never does

by Kiiesaa



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slight fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 08:05:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13003416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiiesaa/pseuds/Kiiesaa
Summary: The more he grew each passing year, the more Jeno understood love.





	- but it never does

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [NCTprompts_V](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/NCTprompts_V) collection. 



> My sem ended well and I wanted to write something to keep my mind off my grades for a moment. Lol. This is definitely not what I planned but it sort of worked so I went with it in the end. orz
> 
> So sorry to the owner of the prompt if this doesn't reach your expectations. I tried. XD
> 
>  
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
>  
> 
> They say first love never works out, but Jeno desperately wishes he and Minhyung would be an exception to that rule.

**************************

 

 

**Jeno was 10 when he first saw Mark.**

 

 

The latter had just transferred to their school. It was uncommon for someone to change schools at that time of year. Jeno thought it was weird that Mark did.

“Have you heard?” one of his best friends, Donghyuck, asked rather eagerly as he approached their group’s usual table at the cafeteria during lunch time.

All five heads perk at the sudden question. “About?” it was Jaemin who asked back.

“About the new transfer student,” Donghyuck answered as he sat down beside Jisung, their youngest, who scooted over.

Donghyuck wouldn’t stop blabbering on about the new kid. Only Jeno listened to him though, the others were doing whatever it was they were up to, uninterested unlike Jeno was. Apparently from what Donghyuck had shared, the transferee came from Canada and was a grade older than Jeno. How Donghyuck managed to find all of that out in one morning made Jeno curious.

“That’s him!” Donghyuck exclaimed excitedly, while pointing at something from a distance. “Over there!” Jeno turned his head around and it was then when Jeno first saw him, when his eyes first laid upon the other as he entered the room and dashingly crossed the area to head to the lunch queue.

 

 

*******************************

 

 

**Jeno was 11 when he first met Mark.**

 

 

“Hi, I’m Lee Minhyung. But you can call me Mark,” he introduced, a hand extended towards Jeno, offering a friendly handshake. The older had just joined the school’s dance club which Jeno was already a member of. Mark was introduced to the rest of the crew earlier on that day and Jeno wasn’t an exception.

Jeno was quick to accept the gesture. Moments like those rarely happen after all. Though they went to the same school, they were in different years; the chances of Jeno ever meeting Mark was as slim as a thread. And Jeno would take every opportunity that he could. “I’m Jeno,” he replied, accompanied with a smile that was far wider than his usual ones. Well, at least Jaemin said so when they both went back to class.

 

 

******************************

 

 

**Jeno was 12 when Mark first officially became part of their gang.**

 

 

“Mark-hyung is really nice,” Jisung told Jeno one day, eyes searching for the older male who was busy playing go-cart against Donghyuck and Chenle, all three sprawled on Jeno’s living room floor, attention focused on their controllers and on the television infront of them.

“He’s okay,” Jaemin said dismissively while Renjun only managed a small nod from his seat, too engrossed on the book he was reading to utter a reply. They were outside, setting up the picnic blanket and gently placing the food Jeno’s mother had prepared for them on up of the cloth.

Jeno couldn’t help but smile at how endearing Jisung’s words were. He could still remember how they barely knew Mark a few months ago but now his presence had a big effect on the entire group. Despite their age gap, Mark fitted well with them for some odd reason, like he was meant to be in their small circle of friends from the very beginning. Donghyuck was the most welcoming one since he knew Mark first. He made sure that the older would get along with everyone. And well, Mark was very likable so didn’t take so long before the others, especially Jisung, warmed up to him.

“Yeah, he is,” Jeno found himself saying, his eyes curled happily at the thought of Mark. The expression was full of fond. And Jisung was too young to notice or understand what it meant.

 

 

***********************************

 

 

**Jeno was 13 when he first went to Mark’s house for a sleepover.**

 

 

They had set up tents at Mark’s backyard, to sleep outdoors for a change.

“Do you want hot chocolate?” Mark offered shortly after noticing how the younger’s hand slightly trembled as a sudden gist of cold January wind came and dishevelled their hair, Chenle’s high pitched laugh echoed through the night. Mark went inside the kitchen to stir the younger something to drink.

“Thank you, hyung.” Jeno said as he took the cup from him, loving how warm it felt against his palms.

“Anytime.” Mark smiled at him and Jeno couldn’t help but smile back.

 

 

**********************************

 

 

**Jeno was 14 when he first went to a catch a movie with Mark, alone.**

 

 

They had agreed to spend their Saturday together. But apparently, all their friends had bailed out on them at the very last time. What remained were the both of them.

“How about we do this again next time?” Mark said in the middle of movie, just as cars exploded on the screen and the booming roar of cries could be heard from the speakers at the side of the theater. “Just us. I kinda like it.”

“Yeah, me too.” Jeno wanted that very much.

 

 

****************************************

 

**Jeno was 15 when he first made a promise to Mark.**

 

 

It was one cold Sunday night; it was just the both of them again, at the rooftop of Mark’s house. Mark invited him over, for another sleepover maybe but Jeno wasn't convinced. Mark didn’t invite the others, it was only him and Mark. Hope blossomed in the pit of Jeno's stomach though he willed them away just the same. But who could blame Jeno?

Why was it only him then?

They talked for hours whilst admiring the starry sky, talking about nothing and everything at the same time, in hushed voices and small giggles.

“Promise me you won’t forget me, okay?” Mark suddenly said, staring at afar, his shaky breath turned to smoke against the air and Jeno noted how magical it looked. "You know, I'll really miss you."

And Jeno would so too but he didn't say it out load. He opened his mouth but only to reluctantly close it again, unable to counter Mark's previous statement. So he shook his head instead then pointed out, “Hyung, you’re going to High School, not across the globe.”

“I know, but still.”

Jeno chuckled. “Stop being overly dramatic, hyung.” 

But Mark was serious. The look Mark gave him as he turned was overwhelming, Jeno's throat tightened at the sight and it wasn’t a good sign. Jeno sighed in defeat. “Fine, I promise.”

“Let’s swear on it.” Mark then hooked his pinky finger, locking them with Jeno’s before Jeno even had time to react. The feeling of Mark's skin against his as they brushed together burned painfully. “Now it’s a promise so you better keep it,” Mark proclaimed, a smug grin on his face.

Jeno thought it was rather childish but it added to the long list of things he liked about Mark.

 

 

******************************

 

**Jeno was 16 when he first realized that he liked Mark.**

 

 

The thought of liking Mark seemed quite right that Jeno wasn’t caught off guard when he realized it at last.

It was the first day of classes and they were finally in High School. Well, except for Jisung and Chenle. They still had to wait another year before they could join the rest.

Mark hurriedly ran towards and greeted them by the school’s gate, trapping everyone in a bone-crushing hug. They welcomed the gesture with fits of laughter and playful nudges. Jeno was used to Mark being overly affectionate; he was like that to everyone. But Jeno wanted to believe otherwise. Because when Mark turned to Jeno, it was slightly different. How Mark’s arms enveloped the other in a tight embrace was both agonizingly slow and comfortingly warm— it felt just like home. Jeno felt special somehow.

When Mark finally decided to let him go, he stared up to Jeno. There was this silent glint in his dark orbs that spoke volumes, of longing perhaps. His eyes shone of words that Jeno could never decipher. And somehow, Jeno was suddenly conscious of how he looked like at that moment. Was he perhaps returning the contact with the same intensity?

It took the sound of Donghyuck clearing his throat for the two to be brought back into reality.

Mark toured them around after that. Jaemin kept commenting how soft Mark had become but the older paid him no notice. Perhaps he had but Jeno didn't seem to mind. Jeno was rather estatic about attending the same school as Mark again. They could hang out with each other like they used to, unlike the past year when they only met up with the older during the weekends.

Jeno really missed Mark.

Even more than he possibly should.

 

 

 *******************************************  

 

 

**Jeno was 18 when he first got his heart broken.**

 

 

By Mark, of all people.

 

 

They were at the cafeteria, the gang was joking around while eating lunch like usual, when Mark and Donghyuck came in, together, hands intertwined like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. Their group turned mute as their eyes landed on the pair.

“Are guys together?” Chenle bluntly asked the two, breaking the silence that had befallen onto their table.

The blush that crept onto Donghyuck’s tanned cheeks as he looked away and the shy yet happy grin on Mark’s face gave everything away.

From the corner of his eye, Jeno saw Jaemin sparing him a look, it was full of concern but Jeno wasn’t paying attention to any of them. His focus was on Mark instead, like it always had been. But then, the more he looked, the more his chest clenched.

Jeno would be lying if he said he hadn’t already saw it coming, that Mark would never reciprocate his feelings.

But still, why Donghyuck? Why did it have to be him?

It sounded mean and petty of him but Jeno still hoped Mark would change his mind.

Why can't it be him instead?

 

 

*******************************************

 

 

Jeno was at Jaemin’s— again— hanging out with him to keep himself busy. Being with his friends, especially Jaemin, kept his mind off certain things; of school, of grades, but it kept Jeno’s mind off of Mark mostly. And Jeno could use the distraction, even just a little bit.

A lot of things had happened when they graduated high school and went off to college but Jeno’s feelings for Mark hadn’t dampened at the slightest, not even when he had to witness how happy the older was with Donghyuck every single damn day. It was sad, how much he wished that the reason why Mark smiled was because of him.

“Jeno, go home.” Jaemin had said the exact same line for a few times already and it was getting rather overused, quite unpleasant to the ears and Jeno wasn’t in the most festive of moods.

“Later, Nana,” the blonde answered but it wasn’t any time soon, that’s for sure. Grabbing the nearest blanket he could reach with his eyes closed, he covered it over his head. “Let me sleep for a while.”

With the sound of shuffling feet and a tired sigh shortly after the door to the room Jeno was occupying closed, it seemed like Jaemin had gave up on his futile efforts to kick his best friend out of his house. Jeno knew that Jaemin meant well and was very worried about him. His best friend only wanted what was best for Jeno after all and hated seeing him in turmoil. So Jaemin left him alone in his room instead, to allow his best friend to collect his own thoughts in peace somehow.

Jeno tossed and turned in Jaemin's bed as soon as he left but no matter what he did, nothing seemed right. It was frustrating.

Damn it, why can’t he just forget?

**Jeno was already 19 and he thought he had grown out of it but everything still hurt.**

 

 

**********************************

 

 

“I think I might have been inlove with Mark-hyung.” It wasn’t until the stuck of midnight one fateful day in the middle of winter when Jeno finally told Jaemin the truth which he had kept in the dark for a few years. They were in Jeno’s bed, faces across each other. They were to supposed to be asleep but neither did. Jeno’s mood had fluctuated again and Jaemin had been waiting for Jeno to tell him what was wrong ever since he arrived to visit the still blonde haired male. And Jeno wasn’t going to let Jaemin worry any more than he already had been.

“ _Might?_ ”

Jeno blinked in confusion at Jaemin's questioning connotation.

“C’mon, Jeno, you were never actually subtle,” Jaemin answered as he rolled his eyes in exasperation before they softened instantly as he stared at his best friend. “It’s going to be alright,” he said.

“I hope it would be.” Jeno smiled faintly.

“You still got me. You know that, right?”

“Of course.”

Jeno’s mood brightened up for the first time in a few weeks.

 

 

**Jeno was 20 when he finally decided to start moving on.**

 

 

********************************

 

 

“Jeno-ah,” a soft voice whispered against the blonde’s ear that stirred him to consciousness. 

“Hmmm?” Jeno murmured, somewhat drowsy and still full of sleep.

“Wake up, sleepy head. It’s already late.”

Jeno groaned as he turned to his side, slowly opening his eyes, squinting repeatedly to adjust to the light of the room which clearly wasn’t his. “Did I fall asleep?” he asked the body that laid beside him.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jaemin answered in amusement, reaching his arm to fix Jeno’s fringe as it fell softly against his eyes, tracing the other's sharp features as he did. His face resonated in contentment.

Jeno hummed as he basked in the feeling. “How long was I knocked out?”

“Long enough for me to finish preparing dinner.” The younger shoot up to his feet, dropping their earlier shared blanket on the floor and turned to look at the other by the shoulder before heading towards the door. “Well, what are you waiting for? Get up. I cooked us something to eat.”

Jeno didn’t need to be told twice as he quickly got up and went to the kitchen table, even beating Jaemin to it.

One of the perks of living with Jaemin was the delicious food that he made. In the middle of their sophomore year in college, the two had decided to cut down on living expenses by living together. It was a nice plan during that time and Jeno didn’t regret the decision since then. It was what drew him much closer to Jaemin, if that was even possible considering that they've been best friends since they were seven.

“It’s really good, Nana,” Jeno complimented as he chewed down the curry Jaemin had made him that night.

That proud smile of Jaemin’s face was enough to render Jeno speechless. The word ‘beautiful’ crossed his mind as Jaemin looked at him from where he sat. The way Jaemin’s gorgeous chocolate love-filled orbs shone against the dim fluorescent light, how his long lashes softly grazed his face as he blinked, how cute and pointed his nose was, and his lips— especially his lips. 

A fuzzy feeling overcame Jeno, it washed his entire being and he couldn't help but smile until his eyes turned to crescent moons as he stared at Jaemin. His heart swelled the more he did. It was a feeling he was very familiar with, but it seemed different compared to before.

It was much stronger than when it was with Mark, Jeno knew that much.

 

**So Jeno was 22 when he learned to love again and it had already been a year since then.**

 

 

 ***************************************  

 

 

**Jaemin was 7 when he first met Jeno.**

 

 

It was at the public park. Jaemin was with his parents; they left him to wander around and play with the other kids. Jaemin adored the idea of meeting new people so he explored the expanse of the area by himself. Then, he stumbled upon another boy, probably the same age and height as his, by the sandbox; he was all alone, a timid look on his chubby face as he brushed the white sand slowly with his slender fingers. He was shy, eyes wide and slightly taken aback when Jaemin first approached him and asked for his name.

It wasn’t long before the scared look on his face disappeared and was morphed into something brighter when Jaemin offered to be the other’s friend. That moment on, Jaemin vowed he’d do everything he could so that Jeno would always smile like that when he looked at him.


End file.
